Mud Baths and Love Bites

Mud baths and love bites...Sounds kind of romantic if you're into the whole spa scene and PDA. But, things are not always what they may seem... Picture five well-traveled water polo players in the Sicilian country side on a Sunday outing. We are headed to a ranch in a plush green valley to enjoy some horseback riding and homestyle Italian cooking. The makings of a great day. Upon arrival we are loaded up onto our respective horses with the owner (and guide) and head off into the valley to enjoy the beauty of it all. It was a perfect afternoon, not too hot and not too cold. We were traversing rivers and thickets and breathing the fresh air. Sounds like Heaven, right? Well, just like Orange County, it's been raining here quite a bit, so the trails are a bit muddy at the low points. We are passing through one of these low points lined by a rock wall on the left and trees to the right when Brenda's horse stumbles in the mud. All of time slowed down in an instant as potential disaster ensued. I watched as the horse's left back leg sinks down a few feet, panics and recovers but then missteps again and slides even deeper down onto her left side, coming dangerously close to the rock wall. For a brief second I think that maybe the horse will fall and roll completely over, but it eventually catches itself and regains its balance. As for Brenda, the story was not quite as successful. She had initially pitched to the left with the horse, and then as the horse went back towards the upright position she couldn't recover with her. That second misstep by the horse caused Brenda's leg to come out of the stirrup and free her from the saddle at which point she was no longer riding the horse. Thankfully the horse was lower to the ground because of the depth of the mud, but there was no stopping what came next. Brenda face-planted straight into the mud. Thankfully unscathed, although a little embarrassed, she remounted muddy Margarita, the very large, pregnant and now very muddy horse (It has to be mentioned that in these few hectic moments of regaining her composure, Brenda also managed to get a rash from something like poison ivy and narrowly escaped being peed on by another horse). All the while, I found myself holding Lauren's horse's reins while she did Lord knows what. Apparently her horse, Julia, wasn't too happy about not being able to reach the grass for a snack, so she turned and bit my knee instead! And, I have teeth marks and a nice bruise to prove it. So, for the very low price of 15 Euros, Brenda got an unexpected mud bath thanks to Margarita, and I received the highly unexpected public display of affection in the form of a "love bite" (if you can call it that) from Julia. All in all, I would say we got our money's worth. Although, next time I hear mud bath and love bites, I would prefer it all take place at a plush spa, even if it cost a little more and doesn't involve green valleys in Sicily. Even now, though, I'd never take any of it back. I could laugh until I die just replaying that series of events in my head. What a day...